Maybe some people would wonder, “Why would you write a blog about this stuff?” “Shouldn’t you just ignore your attraction?”
The truth is, I probably would ignore it if it was possible. The problem is that when I leave this community behind and step into the “normal world” to do normal things, ignorance and animosity surrounds me, and it hurts.
Not all pedophiles are not child molesters, and most child molesters are not pedophiles. But “pedophile” is probably just as negatively registered in people’s minds as “child molester”, because most people think that pedophiles are the ones out there molesting children. Because of that, pedophiles are branded as one of modern society’s biggest enemies, up there with terrorists, serial killers and rapists. Criminal actions are put on the same level with an unchosen attraction. It makes me disappointed that more people can’t see that. I can’t even watch a video on YouTube without seeing comments saying things like “what if a pedophile kidnapped her?” or “that guy was a creepy pedo” or something equating pedophiles as child molesters, or as creepy, dangerous and disgusting. And these were just normal videos that I was watching that had nothing to do with pedophilia, but lo and behold, I can’t escape it. Even when I try to stay away, I’m never allowed to forget how hated I am.
No! I don’t want to rape or molest.
No! I never have.
No! I never will.
I, just like so many other pedophiles.
But many people treat us as if we are rapists, or at the very least, want to rape someday, when for most of us, this couldn’t be further from the truth.
“Kill all pedophiles” is a phrase that I can try to run from, but I’ll end up hearing it anyway.
That’s what makes me extremely sad, but it also scares me to think what would happen if people were to discover this facet of me. Countless pedophiles have lost their friends, family, and jobs simply from people discovering that they are what they are. It’s painful to know that other people who have done nothing wrong other than having an unchosen attraction, and being too honest, are being hurt from this.
That’s why I need to write. I am not a rapist. I am not a child molester. Pedophiles are just people who happen to be attracted to children – NO action implied. Nothing more, and nothing less.